1/11/11

Today's date: January 11, 2011 or 1/11/11. So today must be a day of firsts, right? Yes, it is.

Austin and Shawna have been fostering 2 little chocolate boys, ages 2 and 1, for the past 6 months. Precious little boys! I would love to mention their names and put up pictures, but because they are in the foster care system, it is best that I don't. These little men went back to their mama's for Christmas and Austin and Shawna got the official word today that they would not be returning. A court date had been made and the boys were staying at their mama's.

I had conflicting emotions concerning this. We had known for awhile that the boys would probably go back to their mama, so it was good to get the official word......closure. However, we all knew that these little guys weren't going back to a great home life. This bothered me and even as I write it stirs up all those emotions again. Fortunately, I know that God knows exactly where these little guys are.....He knows how many hairs are on their heads.....He cares. This didn't turn out the way I thought it would, BUT I chose to trust.

However, as quickly as they got the word that the boys were not coming back, they get another call.....twin chocolates.....7 months....1 boy, 1 girl. Really? Already? These two only weigh about 8 pounds. They were preemies, they are in good health, they just weren't in a good situation and now the primary goal is for them to gain weight.

Ashlynn is estatic! She has 2 babies coming to her house....a boy AND a girl! Austin and Shawna, I think are a little shell-shocked. These babies eat every 2 hours......there are 2 of them!! Not sure how all of this is going to work, but knowing Austin and Shawna, it will work and it'll work quickly.

I am so amazed at my son and his wife. So proud of them for meeting the need of children needing a place to grow and thrive. It's so difficult to juggle life as it is and yet, they throw in little ones who need a temporary mama and daddy into their lives and do it with so much grace. I'm not sure I could do this but I am so proud of them and so thankful they have allowed me to share in this experience.

So, it has been a day of firsts. It's the first time I've lost 2 of my grandkids. It's the first time I've ever had twins in my family. But, I started my day with 1 vanilla (who just happens to be the most beautiful little girl in the world) and now I'm back to 1 vanilla and 2 chocolates. What a way to start the new year! I love my life.

The Year of Limbo

As you can see, it has been quite awhile since I've blogged. As I look back on 2010, it has been such a strange year.....of course, there have been many, many blessings......God is so very good. But, it just seemed that as 2010 ended, the Neelys had a lot of loose ends. I hate loose ends. I like them all tied up nice and neat. Like my ducks all in a row exactly how I want them. As my family sat around the table at Christmas time, Austin made this observation. "It seems like that 2010 was the year of limbo for the Neelys". YES!!!! That's it exactly!

Have you ever had God tell you something very specific that He wanted you to do? And you went after that with all your heart? Searching and trying to obey Him with everything you've got....knowing that if you'll be obedient, something awesome is just around the corner?

Well, my family has had a lot of those these past few months. Things we were really seeking God about.....believing that He was guiding us in a specific direction.....doing everything we felt like He was asking us to do. And.......?

We're waiting. We're at a standstill. We've done all we know to do and yet, we don't see God moving yet. Can I just tell you, that just drives me nuts! We've got some big decisions we need to hear Him on and it's kinda quiet. Really?????? We've done everything You want us to do...now we wait? We've been waiting a long time.

And yet, in all my frustration for God not moving as quickly or in the manner I think He should, I hear Him say, "Do you trust Me?" My heart falls a little.....I so want to.....You've never let me down before.....You've always provided in the most awesome ways....but I don't see any movement, God. He says, "I know, but will you still trust me that I know what I'm doing?"

So, today, I lay down my heart......yeah, God, I really do trust you. I do get frustrated when things aren't moving like I think they should.....but yes, I will trust you. You make all things work together for my good because You love me and because I am Your daughter - the daughter of the Most High King. I don't understand...but You do....so I will trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make you path straight." Proverbs 3:4-5